Dear Paul Revere

Updating our greatest fleeting guest on the most important details of modern life in Medford

By Nate Rubright

Dear Paul Revere, 

I realize that many of these letters to you are from a future that requires so much context it is almost impossible to understand what I am talking about. That is why I am going to write this week about something that you have assuredly experienced: the seasonal clearing out and disposal of junk from your house. 

I think humanity has been doing spring cleaning at least as long as we have been able to accumulate possessions. I have to imagine that even in ancient times, once the spring solstice hit, one cave-person turned to the other and said something along the lines of "I’m tired of looking at this coffee table…" 

Now, if it’s a pretty decent coffee table, you may have no problem selling it on one of many increasingly sophisticated marketplaces that we have at our disposal. Remember I mentioned that internet thing? It opens a whole new world buying, selling, and meeting at the city parking lot to exchange a used-but-OK pair of youth ice skates. 

But what if it’s a piece-of-junk coffee table that you just happened to be stuck with because you found it on the street freshman year and your roommate moved out and you couldn't figure out how to throw it away, so it just kept moving with you throughout various apartments, and what started out as trash is now equal parts trash and nostalgia? 

Well, as I am sure you have experienced, sentimental value isn’t fungible, so now you have to get rid of something that is slightly too big to put in the trash and, while being worth zero dollars, need not be worth negative dollars because you had to pay someone to take it away. There are a few hail-Mary moves you could make, like posting it online for free (or for like $5, which is actually not that much nowadays) and see if there is someone at a particularly desperate coffee-table-time in their lives. More likely than not, you have to do the last resort, put it on the curb. 

Was there a lot of street furniture in your time? That’s the kind of historical fact I would love to know. Like, as I wrote this, when I turned up Fulton Street there were three sets of wooden dining room chairs equally spaced out as you drive up the hill. They will probably sit out there, rain or shine, until their owners finally have room to put them in the trash, or the most random of people pulls over and takes them. 

Anyway, could you use a coffee table? I would classify it as used-good, but I might be the only one. 

Nate in the Heights

Nate Rubright is a Medford resident.